You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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