thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
