Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
