I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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