her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
