"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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