Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
