His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Randomize
