dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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