on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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