I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
