I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize