just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
