she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
