lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
