Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
it hurts more in the daytime
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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