walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
