Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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