Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(218): View more from Minnesota

I threw up into my coffee this morning.

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(248): View more from Michigan

I don't remember what your face looks like..

(727): View more from Florida

I don't remember your face either, just your dick.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

You tried to poop in the sink last night.

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(757): View more from Virginia

Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"

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(240): View more from Maryland

she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.

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(865): View more from Tennessee

it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina

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(973): View more from New Jersey

He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.

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