i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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