singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
