You can't motorboat a personality
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
