Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize