I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
