No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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