After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
