The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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