I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
