I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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