oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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