So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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