We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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