I'm lost and stupid without you.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
