I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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