we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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