I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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