oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
