Pants 0. Shit 1.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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