I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
sarcasm needs its own font
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
