Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize