I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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