yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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