I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
