Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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