Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize