i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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