there's paper in my vomit.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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