It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
