3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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