well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
