He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
