That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
