I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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