If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
My penis needs a shock collar
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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