There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
