Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
