Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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