we have pet lesbian snakes
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
