so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
