I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
