sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
